Monday – tomorrow – is the day I am meeting the CCF staff and getting my first tour. It’s one of those days that change you forever. Like the first day of kindergarten, the day you passed your driver’s license, the first time you had sex or said “I do” or gave birth to a child.
A day that will change my life forever and like the aforementioned examples – I have no idea how. My tummy is filled with butterflies and the rather adolescent concerns of “Will they like me”, “Am I up to the task”, “What if I show up as one more ugly overly zealous Westerner?”
There is a crazy delight in being totally unable to control or predict the outcome. Like climbing up the mountain of a rollercoaster, hearing the screams of those who have gone before, watching the ground as it slips away and knowing at any moment we could reach the top and plunge to what feels like our inevitable death.
Most of my life I am controlling, arranging and managing every detail. I look cool and relaxed but really I am an OCD compulsive control freak. So it should be pretty funny to see me in an environment that is saturated with endless in the moment, seat of the pants, carpe diem spontaneity. Where the bottom line is compassion not achievement and the currency is love not performance.
Head is spinning just thinking about it. More later…
Find more stories from Ardice Farrow’s experiences in ‘Ardice Abroad’.